One of the of the largest secrets we try to keep is a sense of autonomy and pride. The idea or sensation that you are important in some unique way, that you are cherished by a special person, that somebody is giving you special attention, these are some of the ego’s very subtle secrets. We are striving to hide our Divine Self and are playing all these diverse games, which appear to be very upsetting. It is quite depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of special love, attention and recognition to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at becoming “superior people”, at obtaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be appreciated more and be more well-known. The entire self-help industry is focused on bettering the self so you can grow into a better you. That is another trick we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep turning our wheels trying to become better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very relaxing when you start to grasp that you do not have to turn into any better than you already are. You were created perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find tranquility but through self-acceptance.
As I engaged with A Course in Miracles, I could notice that there was a terror of divine love in my mind. I understood this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being uncovered and being viewed as a puff of nothingness. That is the fear of intimacy. We discuss about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes portrayed as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a terror of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the fear of getting swept away by a glorious love, a love so powerful that none of us can even fathom something as glorious and potent!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something wrong, whether you’ve pleasured yourself, stolen something, mistreated someone, or there is something in your mind that you have considered as so horrible that you don’t even want to meet it, you just want to forget about it and push it out of awareness.
Beneath all those reminiscences and ideas, is the belief that we are separated. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an impossible belief, but we assume that it is true; We have considered it as horrific and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in division. And as you really provide yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally encounter this hidden belief in disunion!
Please, share any ideas and remarks with me below, I’d love to hear about your experience!
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